Staying Above the Line

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Recently, over lunch during an Above the Line Living training, the question came up about staying—and returning—Above the Line. When we touch that open, expansive space where we feel creative, loving, accepting of ourselves and others, fully alive, etc., how do we keep the feeling? And what can help bring us back there when we lose it?

Here are a few suggestions and ideas from the Minneapolis Fall 2008 Above the Line Living participants:

1.    Being aware—choosing not to live in denial.
2.    Choosing your perspective—knowing you can always reframe a situation.
3.    Self-care and self-love—remembering that we can only give away what we ourselves have.
4.    Appreciation and gratitude.
5.    Having fun, taking life lightly.
6.    Connection to nature.
7.    Connection to other people.
8.    Movement, dance, walking, running
9.    Music
10.    Art
11.    Being open to the possibility of change
12.    Setting an intention
13.    Meditation
14.    Therapy
15.    Life coaching

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They say there is a Chinese curse: may you live in interesting times. I think this past week certainly qualifies. How can anyone be expected to stay Above the Line with the world doing what it is doing? This past week has given me the most amazing and provocative conversations, including:

- A friendly debate over the nature of evil and if certain politicians qualify for this designation.
 
- Surprisingly universal agreement that Obama is being presidential, while McCain is being a candidate. Whether you like Obama or not, in watching him it is clear that he is embodying where he wants to be. In other words, he is already being the president. It is fascinating to watch this progress and see how it plays out. I find it hard to imagine someone with that much being not manifesting his intention.
 
- Many many chats about staying above the line when surrounded by below the line energy. In all these conversations we have come to the conclusion that staying Above the Line does not mean changing anyone else. In fact, that's the first thing to let go of -- the need or desire for them to be different.
 
- Also many discussions about not giving in to the fear the media is fostering. It is so amazing how passionate people feel about this. How much hope and positive energy there actually is even when the Dow Jones is down 40% and Iceland is bankrupt. There are still a significant number of people who feel that no matter what, we can't succumb to fear.

SUGGESTIONS FOR BEING CENTERED in this difficult time:

1. Don't try to be Above the Line when you are feeling angry, sad, afraid, etc. BE WHERE YOU ARE. The best way to get back above the line is to spend some time being present to your below the line emotions. Here is a quick journal or self-talk exercise that can help -- be present to the emotion and ask yourself:

• What is my most dominant Below the Line emotion right now?
• What does it feel like to be (angry, sad, afraid, etc.)?
• Where do I feel it in my body? Where else?
• What color is this emotion?
• What size is this emotion?
• What does this emotion remind me of?
• What is it like to simply be present to how I feel?
• What if I allowed this emotion without making it wrong or resisting it?

2. Allow people around you to be where they are. HOWEVER, this doesn't mean you have to collude with them. Experiment with giving space to their fear without taking it on or resisting it.

Let us all know how it goes!

Warmly,

Ann

One of our good friends recently emailed this question:

So, I was at an awful meeting this morning.  I knew going into it that I had to stay on my toes to keep myself above the line, because these folks have a tendency to meander below the line.  After the meeting, on my drive back to the office, I received a call from my brother, who generally spends a lot of time below the line.  After the meeting and the conversation with my brother, I realized that I was tired and drained.  After maintaining my firm position above the line in difficult situations or for a long period of time, with folks who are below, I find myself zapped of energy – how does one keep their energy level up in these situations?

What do you think? How do we stay Above the Line without being drained when the world wants to pull us Below the Line? I have been pondering this myself, what with all the conversations about the financial crisis and the elections in the U.S.

What are your thoughts?

Warmly,

Ann

On a recent trip to Europe, I had plenty of opportunity to play with being Above The Line with relatives!
My husband and I went on a wonderful vacation, visiting his family and spending a week with my parents on the beautiful
Dutch Island of Terschelling. Once again I realized how important it is to be intentional - even before the vacation and trip starts.
Everyone brings their own perspective, judgment and expectations to life. They might not be identical with how I see the world but these are perspectives and very real to people. I found that a little journaling and spending some time with my meditation tapes helped me stay grounded. But more than anything else it was my intention to enjoy myself that helped me the most. To enjoy my time with family, to take them for who they are without wanting them to be anything else, to have fun and bring lightness and love to everything I do.
Now that I am back, I look back with fondness and appreciation. What a lovely time we had.
Ursula.

The question: "How can I shift to Above The Line?" is asked often. We notice that we are below the line and sometimes
it's not that easy to make a shift. During a group coaching call last week, I was reminded how important gratitude is to the process of
shifting and staying above the line. It's so much easier, for most of us, to analyze what we are doing wrong, what's not working and where we need "to improve". Looking at what is already working in our lives, what we appreciate and see as a blessing, is a powerful way to make the change to Above The Line. We practices this feeling with this phrase: " How lucky I am to.........!"
How lucky I am to have this website to ponder and question! How lucky I am to have you on my side! How lucky I am to have work that inspires and fills me up!!!! How lucky I am!
Love, Ursula.

When I am stuck below the line, I usually ask myself how I really feel? Do I feel sad or lonely, angry or frustrated?
Depending on the answer I check out what kind of story is behind the feeling. I check out my story that I am making up.
What is true about it? Then I go and either have a nice cup of tea (or glass of wine- depending on time of day), call a friend and remember how incredibly blessed I am.
Ursula.- ATL Team.

We all have those times when we it feels a bit like we are stuck under a heavy weight. For me, even simple things at these times can be really helpful -- snuggling with my cat, listening to a favorite song, taking a moment to breath deeply and remember my blessings. How about you? What brings you back above the line when you are stuck?

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